Of a text forwards III.

R-18 time...

Si Mahal sumakay ng taxi...
Mahal: Dlaybel, alam mu to adles?
Driver: Ano address?
Mahal: Siksik oten patay titi!
Driver: Tingnan ko nga (binasa)... ah...
- 66010 Pasay City -


Amo: Yaya! Bakit mo itinapon si baby palabas ng bintana?!!
Yaya: E kasi sir, sabi ni ma'am
"Yaya, pag wala nang pampers si baby, i-huggies mo na lang..."


Anong bagay na mahaba...
Pag nagalit tumataba,
May ulo,
May buhok,
Pag napuno pumuputok,
Kung malaki, nagbibigay ligaya sa babae?

E di titi, kala mo joke?


One night, Mark walks alone in Balete,
Then he heard "Mark! Mark!"...
Lumingon siya, walang tao.
"Mark! Mark!"
Tumakbo siya.
Pagdating sa kanto, he saw a sign:
"Beware: Ngongong aso!"


Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder.
"Nyaaahh!!!", screamed the driver.
Passenger: Bakit ka sumigaw?
Driver: Sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi, 25 years akong driver ng punerarya!


You left a boy you thought never loved you,
10 years later, you saw him with his daughter.
You asked her name, the little girl replied!
I was named after my dad's first love...

"Badong"


2 babies where playing in the crib.
When suddenly the baby girl cried...
"Rape!"
The baby boy said...

"Ay tanga, naupuan mo lang kaya yung pacifier mo! Ambisyosa to!"


It'll
.
.
.
.
.
Booba


Importante ang susunod na iyong mababasa...
.
.
.
.
.
"Importante"


There's this girl in a disco who walks to a man...
Girl: Marunong kang mag-swing?
Man: (Maangas) Bakit??? Mukha ba akong D.I.?
Girl: Hindi, mukha kang unggoy!


Kaibigan ka ba ni Jay-r Trinidad?
Nasa phonebook ka niya eh.
Pakisabi nasa akin ang cellphone niya,
Naiwan niya sa kama ko kagabi.

Salamat!

Sender: Piolo Pascual
+63915559898


I get hurt when people say bad things about you.
That's why I defended you!
Coz I can't bear to see you in pain
So, I told them:

"Pucha naman e! Hindi si Jay-r and nasa sex video!"


Erap in school
Teacher: Who knows what minimize is?
Erap: Alam ko po ma'am!
Teacher: Use minimize in a sentence.
Erap: Minimize is d gerlpren of mickeymize.


May nakapagsabi na ba sa 'yo na ang cute mo?
Kung wala pa,

Wala tayong magagawa! BWahahaha!!!


PUTANGINA PENGENG FRENCH FRIES!!
Show this at any Mcdonald's store and get FREE
regular fries thrown at your face. Hurry!
Promo valid today only! Per DTI permit #001


KNOWLEDGE POWER:
Pare-parehas ba ang timbang ng mga pekpek?
Ka Ernie: Aba'y oo... Matambok man o hindi, lahat sila'y tig-iisang guhit!


Nakaamoy si ngongo ng pabango sa isang store.
Ngongo: Ale, mango!
Ale: Pabango yan! Hindi alimango!
Ngongo: Ale, mango!
Nag-agawan sila at nabasag ito.
Ngongo: Ale, masag!


A SAD STORY:
A little boy was so jealous of his new born brother.
So he put poison on the nipples of his mother.
The next day...
Their driver died!
Sad no?


Sa isang ospital...
Lola: (may cancer) Dok, anong gagawin ninyo sa akin?
Dok: Che-chemo lola...
Lola: Titi mo rin! Bastos ka! Walang modo!