Of the 4275 #

I’ve been really busy for the past month (not really, I’m just lazy) and I’m just in the mood to “review” twenty movies in twenty words or less… aaahh… yabang. And obviously all the wordings are… well… bits and pieces…

 

No. Really. This could be really wrong in a sense and let’s make it oh-so-short. Those twenty words or less are of course per heading (?.. I really don’t know what to make of it, anyhoo… I’m not making any sense here…)

 

--=+=--

 

200 Pound Beauty

Summary: Korean movie. A pathetic movie… Horizontally challenged person who wants to be un-horizontal because of love.

Why you have to watch it: If you love Korean, yeah, watch this and the play dead trick.

Why not: If you’ve seen My Big Love, watch My Big Love again instead.

 

Love In The Time Of Cholera

Summary: Took place during the… uhm… before. Love story. Ewww.

Why you have to watch it: Love conquers everything since they finally ended up with each other in the end?

Why not: Too much nudity? Hahaha! Oh yeah, Cholera? Really? How about Love in the time of Swine Flu?

 

Namets!
Summary: A local indie film featuring Bacolod and food.

Why you have to watch it: I think I’ve already mentioned it. Food, food, and more food.

Why not: The independent cut scenes. No introduction. Could’ve messed up the story line.

 

Death Note: The Last Name
Summary: Part of the live action Death Note movie series.

Why you have to watch it: If you are a Death Note fan. Do this errr watch this.

Why not: If you’re tired of watching L. Watch Ichi The Killer instead.

 

Wrong Turn 3

Summary: Third installment of the most popular Wrong Turn series. Hehe.

Why you have to watch it: The idea on how they killed the monster. Eherm… yeah. That’s it.

Why not: No impact on the environment or in our society, eh?

 

--=+=--

 

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Summary: A break-up movie uberly funnier than the movie, The Break-up.

Why you have to watch it: Jason Segel. The That 70’s Show girl. Jonah Hill. Dracula the musicale.

Why not: Male sex organ. We have HK for that already.

 

No Man’s Land

Summary: An ironic Bosnian war movie.

Why you have to watch it: The irony of the film.

Why not: The stupidity of war.

 

My Tutor Friend 2

Summary: Another Korean movie folks. What’s new.

Why you have to watch it: If it’s Korean, it could be good.

Why not: The happy ending? Hehe.

 

April Fool’s Day

Summary: A twenty year old, somekinda slasher old school flick.

Why you have to watch it: The feeling of watching an 80’s flick where the title applies to the movie.

Why not: Not one person dies.

 

A Chinese Ghost Story

Summary: A love story starring a ghost and a human.

Why you have to watch it: If you’re not tired of love stories… oh, this one’s kinda funny. Sort of.

Why not: The genres of these movies all look the same.

 

--=+=--

 

Ninotchka

Summary: A B&W film where the girl is bitchy and it’s not that uso before.

Why you have to watch it: Girl and guy romantically linked but…

Why not: If you prefer colored films, don’t watch this. Watch My Sassy Girl.

 

Sex Is Zero

Summary: An interesting Korean sex-comedy film ala American Pie.

Why you have to watch it: It’s like watching American Pie in Korean.

Why not: The abortion. Really?

 

Suicide Club

Summary: A Japanese film where people willingly do suicide.

Why you have to watch it: Finger cutting scene. Jump from building scene. Jump on rail track scene. Skin off scene.

Why not: Reason why suicides were made, not convincing.

 

The Chamber

Summary: Based on the novel (?).

Why you have to watch it: Topics include racism and death penalty.

Why not: No shock factor though.

 

Night At The Museum 2

Summary: Sequel to Night At The Museum, duh.

Why you have to watch it: Smithsonian Museum, ftw! And the cats errr cast!

Why not: The story line is kinda mababaw. So meh.

 

--=+=--

The Pink Panther 2

Summary: Anobeh. Hindi ko na sasabihin na sequel sya sa The Pink Panther.

Why you have to watch it: Uhm…

Why not: Sawa na sa ganitong plot. Buhayin si Peter Sellers!

 

17 Again

Summary: A guy take on 13 Going on 30.

Why you have to watch it: I don’t remember any scene that I liked.

Why not: Zac Efron.

 

To Love And Die

Summary: An interesting tv-movie starring Shiri Appleby.

Why you have to watch it: Nice pacing. Good cast. Good story. A hitman version of Legally Blonde.

Why not: No tv series were ever made. Damn.

 

Sling Blade

Summary: A story about a mentally challenged person who was released from the mental hospital.

Why you have to watch it: Billy Bob Thorton is foh real in this movie. Good acting!

Why not: Kind of dragging.

 

12 Rounds

Summary: John Cena after The Marine. Those two films are not connected in any way.

Why you have to watch it: If you are a Cena fan.

Why not: Give me Die Hard or Lethal Weapon or even Walking Tall instead.

 

--=+=--

 

As the review progressed, the author proved himself to be lazy slowly.

Of the 3f #

I missed the French film fest this past weekend. I should’ve placed that in a note or something.

 

*Places a note in my planner regarding the remainder of the French film festival*

 

So, I checked the schedule and I believe I saw two fail-in-the-making. (this is not your jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a fail of agua…)

 

One, they’ll be showing The 400 Blows on Wednesday at three in the afternoon. Right, I have work. And they’ll be showing it on Wednesday only; I’m not sure if they’ve already shown it.

 

Second, Serbis will be shown this Friday. I am already 96.4% torrent DL for this movie. Oh well, I still have work during that day and I’d probably watch it in the office.

 

And probably Pi, Fargo, The Best of the Youth, and The Gleaners and I.

 

--=+=--

 

I don’t want to be mayabang with the following words that I’ll write down…

 

But self-check or self-evaluation in the office, should be, a must. Please don’t tell me words like, I don’t get why this boss is telling me I’m like this or I’m like that or I didn’t realize that people are seeing me that way.

 

I have my own faults and flaws too but I know what I’m doing not just now but even when I was a tee bit younger. And I expect those flaws to have a failing grade during evaluation.

 

Just because nobody is telling you what to do or what not to do doesn’t mean that everything that you’re doing is quite alright. If this is your first job, ignorance is still not an excuse.

 

And we love to complain a lot regarding the work we’re getting or the people around us but have you tried to look in a mirror and check if what you’re doing is right?

 

You always have two choices, either suck it all up or resign.

 

--=+=--

 

Libre lang ang common sense. Pramis.

 

(Woo. Yabang. Batukan kita dyan e.)

Of the bastien #

Walang katapusan…

 

--=+=--

 

Walang katapusan na itong pangako ko sa sarili ko na mag-a-update ako palagi ng “blog” ko dito sa Multiply. Mas bumenta na kasi sa akin yung kabaligtaran ng information overload. Gusto ko ngayong taon, magpahinga muna yung utak ko sa lahat ng mga hardcore na bagay.

Although, nami-miss ko din naman syempre yung may sampu akong reserved blogs at ipo-post ko na lang sila every day. Ang sarap din nung ganun a. Araw-araw may walang katuturan sa blog mo. Astig.

 

--=+=--

 

Walang katapusan ang pagpapacute ni Irene Cullen sa site niya. May gumago na pala dun sa una niyang post. Ika nga sa kasabihan, kung ano ang itinapon mo, pwede mong pagkakitaan sa pagre-recycle…

 

Este.. babalik sa iyo.

 

Pero ayaw niyang tumigil. May second post siya. Pero sumakit yung ulo ko nung nabasa ko ito,

 

“Now that you've displayed this frantic & desperate act to silence me, it only strengthens my resolve & my message!”

 

Hindi ko naintindihan. Wala na ba siyang bagong ma-post?

 

Ang boring ng buhay kung walang mga nagkakagulo at nag-aaway sa mga walang ka-torya toryang usapan.

 

Pero, yun ang magandang binabasa at pinag-iinteresan.

 

Tingnan niyo ngayon sa gobyerno, inuna pa nila yung lintek na con-ass na iyan kesa sa swine flu outbreak. Tatlumpu na yata ang tinamaan. Wala naman sanang mamatay…

 

--=+=--

 

Walang katapusan na din ba ang mga hanging senate inquiries sa gobyerno?

 

Lesh look at the situation.

 

Gagastos sila ng malaki. Tapos ano na ang mangyayari?

 

Wala. Bitin. Parang season ender ng television series.

 

Makukulong ba iyang si Hayden?

 

Ay nako. Nakakasawa na.

 

--=+=--

 

Walang katapusan din ang haba ng trapik sa south super highway. Hindi ko alam kung sinong damuho at gago ang nag-isip na, “why don’t we fix the whole stretch? It is a good publicity for next year’s elections.”

 

E anak ng pitumpu’t puting tupa pala kayo e. Naiisip niyo ba yung ginagawa niyo. Lahat ng mura inaabot niyo na, hindi niyo lang alam.

 

Pordyos porsanto, are we expecting another crap like this, four or seven years from now? Maawa naman kayo sa mga tao.

 

At malamang, mas masarap tuloy bumiyahe na lang sa north…

 

Peter… =D

Of the pixgames #

Taking a break from all the madness…

 

Let me introduce some time-wasters:

 

1. Empire Online’s Cryptic Canvas (contains a puzzle of 50 movies. I think they took the idea from No. 2, see below. I won’t post any pictures here since the game is in animation form, and for those who work in an office, I think the site is not blocked.)

Go here: http://www.empireonline.com/crypticcanvas/

 

2. M&m’s 50 Dark Movies (much like number 1, but with chocolate candies. I haven’t actually played much of this, probably tomorrow.

Go here: http://us.mms.com/us/dark/dark_game.jsp

 

Click the link and then click the link inside the link. Gets?

 

3. Taking a break from 1 and 2, see above, we have here the 72 bands/artists quiz. From what I acquired in the internet, there were 75 in total. And here’s the big picture (with big pun!)

(I spy Cueshe and Bodjie’s Second Law of Gravity… not)

 

4. Lastly, we have here some famous people in portrait form. And no, Hayden, Katrina, and Belo are not in this picture:

Of the lastnato #

Forgive me; I’m still following the Cannes – Ebert connection. And I still can’t let it go since we have such interesting kababayans. But it is really more interesting if someone like this made a comment:

 

“3) Is he really called "Brilliante"? Is that a real name?”

 

The person who commented this is:

 

“By Gilbert Murloneycakes on May 25, 2009 11:15 AM

”

 

And Roger’s answer:

 

“Ebert: People namd Murloneycakes should not cast the first stone. I'm sure that's your real name.”

 

And the comment still continued but not as funny as the first one:

 

“By Gilbert Mulroneycakes on May 25, 2009 1:49 PM

Why, of course it's my real name, how else could I have misspelled it so well?

Just curious; either "Brilliante" is a real name, or it's a pretty desperate and apparently misguided piece of self-aggrandisement.

Ebert: He has also used the name "Dante Mendoza."”

He didn’t get it. Heh…

Link: http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/05/cannes_10_and_at_last_the_winn.html#comments

--=+=--

And I just got a scoop yesterday that this certain uber yaman individual is financing promotions and concerts.

And I’m going to leave the idea hanging.

Of the dagirl #

So, something happened yesterday about a kid and her rants and raves about the different conventions in…uhm… yeah.

 

No, I can’t really put anything in anything right now. And there were two things bothering me (well, not actually bothered, I mean I really don’t care about her gripes in life):

 

1. She loves to go to conventions. And that is plainly obvious. She loves anime, hence her Japanese remarks and kung anu-anong shit. But why is she looking for Anime in a New Worlds Convention? I mean come on, if you’re going to write some shit in the Internet, try to do some minor research before posting anything, unless if you’re going to set it in private. But wait, she did say that,

 

“Aging nerds who liked things like Star Trek, American comic books, Star Wars, Dungeons & Dragons, X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, sci-fi books, Lord of the Rings, Sandman & whatever ecclectic & eccentric American & western licensed clap-trap. The stuff they displayed were pretty nice though. And NO ANIME!”

 

            Well. Duh. You just said it. That’s the whole story of the New Worlds Alliance.

 

And here’s a simple logic, if there is going to be a fart convention, are you expecting people to sell farts.

 

Duh.

 

2. This person needs a gripe in reality.

“The venue (the Polytechnic University of the Philippines) itself is literally surrounded by filth & squalor. You have a squatter area, a garbage dump & a "riles ng tren" before you enter the "university grounds" itself where a stinking sewer-river is in its backyard garden pond. I suffered from a terrible bout of amoebiasis after attending my first & only visit to this so-called convention. Take my word, don't attend any convention organized by PUP, unless they change their venue!”

Iha, ang pera hindi panghabambuhay yan. Whatever you have right now should be considered a blessing. When karma strikes back, I hope you won’t get it, it will really hit your Achilles heel. And nakakaawa lang yung naging pagpapalaki sa iyo ng magulang mo if you don’t see the reality around you.

3.      And lastly, it seems that she is just looking for attention. A blog with one entry only… Right.

--=+=--

O siya, tapos na ang drama. Pinagtanggol ko lang ang NWA. Oh yeah, baka kung ano pang chuvaklaan ang masabi sa kin, the site is http://irenecullen.multiply.com

Omaygad!!! Cullen!!! Ugh…

--=+=--

I’m thankful that I’m juvenile myself, imagine patulan ko ba naman ito… hahaha. Yan ang walang magawa.

Of the moh-HK #

It looks like this won’t end…

 

For two weeks pa siguro.

 

The HK scandal got weirder (?) or more interesting as more people are starting to say their two or feetee-cent worth.

 

First was the mom, I missed the interview. And I was so sad when this happened. O di ba naman, from what I heard the nanay daw was kind of… uhm… different.

 

She was blaming Cogie Domingo (tama ba?) and that Lolit Solis. So, why not blame her for bringing up such incredulous individual? Diba, as a parent you have to take responsibility kahit papano, and despite the son’s mature age, to do the right moral thing.

 

But apparently, it is the other way around.

 

Nice.

 

Secondly (hehe), there’s the blind as hell belo who, as I may partially quote, “Hayden is a very nice person. He was brought up good kaya nga siya nag-doctor and he committed this thing for the first time, as people commit mistakes (or somekindalikethat) too.”

 

Uh, right.

 

With people like these, who needs the… I’m lost with anything here actually so I just have to give a lame punchline… immoral club.

 

**BAM**

 

No really, that was really lame.

 

--=+=--

 

And offish, we’ve started a new generation of jokes…

 

-         Bakit walang HK – Mahal scandal? It’s time to see some real action.

-         Bakit walang HK - Aling Dionisia scandal? I think iniwan na ni Aling Dionisia yung boyfriend niya at gusto niyang magpa-belo na daw.

 

--=+=--

 

So, here’s a checklist of the HK scandals, in case you’re still lost in the confusion:

1. Careless Whisper video. (come on, you don’t know this? They’re going to show the Careless Whisper theatre version in pub… hehe… public na.)
2. Beautiful Girl video (the one where Katrina went patweetums. And I’m pretty sure the song was Beautiful Girl.)
3. The one with Katrina.
4. The one with the kaawa-awang ex.
5. The one with the Brazilian Model.

 

And, we really do have to start a petition for the one with the artista (as stated by Belo) and the one with Belo herself.

 

That makes it 5 triple X videos and we’re still waiting for the rest of the season, 35 episodes are still missing.

 

Are they going to do webcasts too ala The Office?

Or an Internet based movie (simple lang ito, use a laptop with a webcam instead of a real video camera) ala Dr. Horrible’s?

 

--=+=--

 

Should I make a promise to make this the last HK post? Uhm… c’mon, I’m still banking on the brouhaha.

 

-         Did you know that the Book Ban was lifted?

-         Did you know that some Pinoy won in Cannes?

-         Did you know that there are a minimum of two Swine Flu case(s) in our country?

-         Did you know that there are four teams left in the NBA playoffs?

-         Did you know that the pretty boy singer of The Monkees is in town?

-         Did you know that the Nokor’s launched a nuclear weapon the other day?

-         And did you know that Leno is leaving and Conan is back?

 

Oh yeah, that makes two HK stories this week pala. Hayden and the one that came from Hong Kong… wala lang.

Of the Butch #

So, who’s having the last laugh?

 

Just a few days or weeks ago an article came out from one of the “most respected” movie reviewers of all time, Roger Ebert with:

 

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/05/what_were_they_thinking_of.html

 

He sites in that blog post of his that Kinatay is probably one of the worst movies ever shown in Cannes.

 

Hence the title of the blog, “What were they thinking of?”

 

(sir, we don’t end sentences with a preposition… anyhoo…)

 

Well, actually it doesn’t end there. Since we have been liberated from the angsty Japanese, and not really from the American dream, we found demo-crazy (it is democracy, fyi) in the Internet. Filipinos have been fond of posting comments and believe me, we love posting comments, coz I did post one in that blog.

 

Since colonial mentality exists with us Filipinos, you would probably read apologies and shit in that blog site. Apologizing to Mr. Ebert on why Kinatay was included in Cannes and some other shit.

 

And gladly, there are other people who’ll defend our own red, white, and blue plus yellow.

 

It seems we really need to strengthen our nationalism, eh?

 

(is ‘eh’ a preposition?)

 

As I’ve written there, it is always up to us, as viewers, to judge a movie or film. Reviews will always be subjective whether you are highly-praised or not.

 

Moving on…

 

And lo and behold, the Philippines got an award. We got a Best Director and that puts Brillante Mendoza in the same position as Joel Cohen, Wong Kar-Wai, P.T. Anderson, and David Lynch who all won in the same category.

 

There were “favorites” that didn’t win such as Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds and Daniels’ Precious. Palme d’or went to The White Ribbon and Un Certain Regard went to Dogtooth.

 

Congratulations to Brillante!!!

 

(and Ebert is not a factor… hehehe.)

 

--=+=--

 

Oh yeah, and lookie here:

 

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/05/cannes_10_and_at_last_the_winn.html

 

“The 2009 feature film jury awarded some reasonable prizes, and then lost its mind. In my opinion the Mendoza film "Kinatay" deserved no award, and Le Film Francais panel agreed with me ("pas d tout"). But why in heaven's name would you give him the award for best direction? The second half of his film is an illustration of directorial monomania--a willingness to drive audiences from the theater not so much by the violence (rape, beheading, vivisection) but by the directorial style itself. You want to depict human atrocity, look to the von Trier.”

 

Hehehe… Read the rest of the article, this guy just can’t move on…

Of the ho-humers #

This is the right time to release all videos…

 

Mr. Hayden Kho, please take out all the videos from your computer.

 

Burn it in a disc.

Or upload it in youtube.

Or even broadcast it on national TV.

 

I know, and all of those concerned with the most important issue that is happening in our country today, that we have to watch it.

 

Please please please…

 

Show us the Vicky Belo – Hayden Kho scandal.

 

--=+=--

 

Come on.

 

Everyone needs to laugh once in a while.

 

Actually, the careless whisper and the second one, the one where Katrina’s holding two bright balls (go figure), are pretty funny…

 

Reality is really funny…

And brain-empty artistas…

And narcissistic doctors…

 

--=+=--

 

And of course, there’s the idea of chauvinism regarding the recent scandal (nako… sawa na ko sa lecheng mga scandal na yan, enough already). But as I was baybay-ing along Cubao yesterday I saw this sign:

 

“ANG MAGTAPON NG BASURA, PUPUTULIN ANG TITI!”

 

And I just said, “What the fuck?”

 

That is unfair to the male population.

 

There are two points in this sign. One, women can throw garbage in that area and two, well, discrimination…

 

And that’s all I can argue for now.

Of the ish #

Wow.

 

I am still awake at this ungodly hour.

 

With Sweeney Todd (that I’ve seen for a million times errr thousand times) at the background (Depp version), I’m trying to compose myself so that I won’t be a bitch tomorrow.

 

I’m still trying to take away all the non-nice things for a few of my “workmates”. Here’s the thing, I’m planning to give them an advanced Christmas gift; a big box of responsibility, a little bit of sensitivity, or a case of maturity.

 

I’m not saying I’m this omniscient person because I just said those things. It is just that these kids don’t know that they are starting to make headaches of people around them and if I remember it exactly, I did made an email to one of this uhm… person (?) and look where this person is right now.

 

He made fun of my letter by reading it aloud in front of the other workmates putting me in a bad light.

 

Apparently, this person needs the B word too (oh, I don’t need to say that word).

 

I’m not concerned to these people; I’m just concerned with two things, my work and those people who are concerned with these few people.

 

I just missed those times when people cared…

 

The workplace is becoming a babysitter-place.

 

--=+=--

 

I’m loving the NBA.

 

It feels like this league has come between the WWE and the UFC.

 

Miss Toyota-Crispa games? Not anymore…

 

--=+=--

 

And about Pacquaio’s plan to run for congress.

 

Right.

 

I have a few questions.

 

Is he really running for congress? Congressmen pass bills, what is he going to create?

 

In case he wins for congress and all his money from boxing goes to the “people”, where would he get the money after?

 

Did you feel his win in terms of “Manny winning for the Filipino people”?

 

I was trying to comprehend on why he has all these wealth and I wasn’t able to get news if he helped people in General Santos, say the time when he started to win big bucks.

 

Oh, just some ideas running inside my head.

 

--=+=--

 

I’m sorry. I am much more excited with Angels and Demons rather than Star Trek.

 

I have this thing about starting things and I’m sure I haven’t seen the original Star Trek series or even most of the movies (I’ve only seen one, the one before this one). And I can’t even remember the plot or the storyline of that movie.

 

Well, I will still watch Star Trek because people are saying it is good.

 

And John Cho and Simon Pegg is in that movie… so, why not chocnat.

 

--=+=--

 

Running later.