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6.07.2009

Of the 4275 #

I’ve been really busy for the past month (not really, I’m just lazy) and I’m just in the mood to “review” twenty movies in twenty words or less… aaahh… yabang. And obviously all the wordings are… well… bits and pieces…

 

No. Really. This could be really wrong in a sense and let’s make it oh-so-short. Those twenty words or less are of course per heading (?.. I really don’t know what to make of it, anyhoo… I’m not making any sense here…)

 

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200 Pound Beauty

Summary: Korean movie. A pathetic movie… Horizontally challenged person who wants to be un-horizontal because of love.

Why you have to watch it: If you love Korean, yeah, watch this and the play dead trick.

Why not: If you’ve seen My Big Love, watch My Big Love again instead.

 

Love In The Time Of Cholera

Summary: Took place during the… uhm… before. Love story. Ewww.

Why you have to watch it: Love conquers everything since they finally ended up with each other in the end?

Why not: Too much nudity? Hahaha! Oh yeah, Cholera? Really? How about Love in the time of Swine Flu?

 

Namets!
Summary: A local indie film featuring Bacolod and food.

Why you have to watch it: I think I’ve already mentioned it. Food, food, and more food.

Why not: The independent cut scenes. No introduction. Could’ve messed up the story line.

 

Death Note: The Last Name
Summary: Part of the live action Death Note movie series.

Why you have to watch it: If you are a Death Note fan. Do this errr watch this.

Why not: If you’re tired of watching L. Watch Ichi The Killer instead.

 

Wrong Turn 3

Summary: Third installment of the most popular Wrong Turn series. Hehe.

Why you have to watch it: The idea on how they killed the monster. Eherm… yeah. That’s it.

Why not: No impact on the environment or in our society, eh?

 

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Summary: A break-up movie uberly funnier than the movie, The Break-up.

Why you have to watch it: Jason Segel. The That 70’s Show girl. Jonah Hill. Dracula the musicale.

Why not: Male sex organ. We have HK for that already.

 

No Man’s Land

Summary: An ironic Bosnian war movie.

Why you have to watch it: The irony of the film.

Why not: The stupidity of war.

 

My Tutor Friend 2

Summary: Another Korean movie folks. What’s new.

Why you have to watch it: If it’s Korean, it could be good.

Why not: The happy ending? Hehe.

 

April Fool’s Day

Summary: A twenty year old, somekinda slasher old school flick.

Why you have to watch it: The feeling of watching an 80’s flick where the title applies to the movie.

Why not: Not one person dies.

 

A Chinese Ghost Story

Summary: A love story starring a ghost and a human.

Why you have to watch it: If you’re not tired of love stories… oh, this one’s kinda funny. Sort of.

Why not: The genres of these movies all look the same.

 

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Ninotchka

Summary: A B&W film where the girl is bitchy and it’s not that uso before.

Why you have to watch it: Girl and guy romantically linked but…

Why not: If you prefer colored films, don’t watch this. Watch My Sassy Girl.

 

Sex Is Zero

Summary: An interesting Korean sex-comedy film ala American Pie.

Why you have to watch it: It’s like watching American Pie in Korean.

Why not: The abortion. Really?

 

Suicide Club

Summary: A Japanese film where people willingly do suicide.

Why you have to watch it: Finger cutting scene. Jump from building scene. Jump on rail track scene. Skin off scene.

Why not: Reason why suicides were made, not convincing.

 

The Chamber

Summary: Based on the novel (?).

Why you have to watch it: Topics include racism and death penalty.

Why not: No shock factor though.

 

Night At The Museum 2

Summary: Sequel to Night At The Museum, duh.

Why you have to watch it: Smithsonian Museum, ftw! And the cats errr cast!

Why not: The story line is kinda mababaw. So meh.

 

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The Pink Panther 2

Summary: Anobeh. Hindi ko na sasabihin na sequel sya sa The Pink Panther.

Why you have to watch it: Uhm…

Why not: Sawa na sa ganitong plot. Buhayin si Peter Sellers!

 

17 Again

Summary: A guy take on 13 Going on 30.

Why you have to watch it: I don’t remember any scene that I liked.

Why not: Zac Efron.

 

To Love And Die

Summary: An interesting tv-movie starring Shiri Appleby.

Why you have to watch it: Nice pacing. Good cast. Good story. A hitman version of Legally Blonde.

Why not: No tv series were ever made. Damn.

 

Sling Blade

Summary: A story about a mentally challenged person who was released from the mental hospital.

Why you have to watch it: Billy Bob Thorton is foh real in this movie. Good acting!

Why not: Kind of dragging.

 

12 Rounds

Summary: John Cena after The Marine. Those two films are not connected in any way.

Why you have to watch it: If you are a Cena fan.

Why not: Give me Die Hard or Lethal Weapon or even Walking Tall instead.

 

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As the review progressed, the author proved himself to be lazy slowly.

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