Of research # 2 or 3? Bad air...

It had always been a mystery to me on why people fart in an elevator. Think about it, a running joke at anyone’s expense.

I was trying to search the Internet for this subject. Of course, I’m always lazy when I’m trying to do a research. I just jot down ‘fart’ and ‘elevator’ and click search in Google and that’s it. I checked some top searches (and not single one) and found no biggie information. Crap. Now this is really hard.

Now, we always joke around when someone farts in an elevator but what causes it? I mean if you’re a person that farts a lot then that is fairly understandable but what about the people who is an unfarty person but farts whenever he or she is in the elevator?

Of course we all know that flatulence is caused by the food we eat. Beans, sprouts, eggs, softdrinks, what-not. I’m sure they are the culprits. But what if you just drank water the whole day? Don’t tell me that the water you drank is filled with flat-infested bacteria that give you your unnatural essence?

Are phobias affecting farts too? Claustrophobia is a big factor whenever you ride the elevator, for obvious reasons. And much more when the elevator almost reaches the maximum number of passengers. You’ll surely get too phobic, in this case. Or does the body heat of all people affects your body and in turn creates a chemical reaction that makes your body remove unwanted gas?

Or how about the physical phenomena? Is a body trying to rest capable of farting? Does your butt-cheeks need some rest to create the burst? Imagine this, you are, let’s say, twenty or thirty paces away from the elevator. You see people getting off and you hurriedly ride the elevator. Imagine the pituitary rush you do and then you relax once the elevator door closes. And then boom. I fart when I’m walking so I’m sure your body can do poofing even when you’re not at rest.

How about gravity? When an elevator goes up, there’s a certain force that affects you. Think one of Newtons’ Laws. So, somehow it is possible that there’s pressure that hits your tummy or what-ev and then you create the gas. That is if the elevator goes up. What if the elevator goes down? Then, probably the air pressure goes into your ass. It is filled with air and then, for obvious reasons, when something is filled up, it overflows or in this case it doesn’t overflow, it does the final release.

Now, the last thing I can think of is nervousness or those butterflies in the stomach (I didn’t know that eating butterflies could create the farties). Let’s say you’re with your crush or you’re having a date and you just can’t stop doing the bad thing near her. I mean it would be nice if it were a silent killer. At least you can blame the person beside you but if it is a trombone boom-boom fart then, your chances will surely become slimmer. Bawas pogi points ika nga.

Oh well, I really don’t know what causes what that flatulence inside an elevator. I’m not a scientist and I’m not sure if there has been a study of farts yet. I’d probably create a Fart in an Elevator Foundation or FIEF.

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(Chong, wala kang magawa? Kain ka muna o… Gutom lang yan.)