Of a hobo.

Isn’t this nice. I have my own hobo name:

Reynaldo Reynaldoson, Who Will One Day Kill His Father.

Sweet.

--=+=--

Now, on to business. If you’re familiar with the Inday forwarded texts (who aren’t?) then you might like my idea. I do hope this is not a demeaning way for our friendly house-helps.

We don’t even have one since we can’t afford a house-help. Maybe when I was young and my parents were millionaires. Right now we’re just hundred-aires (sounds like somebody who lost a lot of hair).

Anyhoo, I want to create a website just for our house-helps. That includes the driver or the gardener or even the cook. Anyone can send his or her articles for the ‘Yaya of the month’. Or you can send random snapshot photos of your yaya and we can create contests such as a caption photo contest.

It would also be nice if we can list down the phone numbers of agencies that provides helps. I mean, it would be easy to get a help, at least there is a basis of trust since NBI clearances and whatnots will be provided.

And also we can place there the usual yaya boo-boos ala America’s Funnies Home Videos.

But the only thing is this site might be derogatory to our household helps. I think we Filipinos treat them fair unlike in some other countries were they collect all kinds of physical and mental hurt.

Or should I create a website solely for the dark yaya?

Nah.

--=+=--

What will happen to us in the future? The gas prices are high-fallutin mind you. Imagine, one liter of gas almost cost a hundred bucks. So, what are the possible means of transportation that we can use? I have some suggestions.

HP’s Floo Powder – the only disadvantage for this is we don’t have any fireplaces in our houses. We are living in the Philippines (maybe houses in Tagaytay and Baguio have these). The closest we can do is get near an LPG tank and blow the powder. Now, who will turn off that ‘kalan’.

Futurama’s tube type of transportation – This is nice. It would just be weird where there are tubes around us. If ever this is used, how about our ‘kababayans’ who are drivers? Imagine, one idea can kill something in the present.

Stephen King’s Jaunting – Jaunting is like teleporting but this is somehow dangerous. You have to be asleep when jaunting but on the bright side we’ll create jobs for these since we need people to inject the people who’ll use the Jaunt.

Flintstone’s transportation – I have nothing to write here. Thinking about this is stupid already (you think the other ideas aren’t stupid? Think again.)

Use of animals – Hello? You think we’ll be able to push this? We’ll surely hear from the Association of Cruelty to Animals. Que Horror.

World Of Warcraft’s portals – Nah.

Salen-ga’s theory – Imagine if we really believed that the electron is positive. Some combustible material may be developed out of it. Maybe, we can use our wastes as fuel. Maybe this is the idea of the future. Maybe a Filipino can finally win the Nobel Peace Prize award and we can get all the hoes and drink booze.

Of a 9th.

Don’t you just love it when you already know who the winner is at nine in the morning? Even if it is hard to believe my mom can, at times, dream who wins. Usually we dream of people who’re connected to us. I just don’t know how my mom can do it. She just told me earlier she dreamt of Manny holding one of his hands up smiling.

Just believe.

And yes the phrase “walang kokontra” is true.

Let’s leave it at dream interpretation though.

Oh, by the way did someone die during the building of the underground tunnel in Mandaluyong?

--=+=--

Congratulations to Manny, the first Asian to win four championship titles in different weight classes. I believe he’s the ninth boxer to do that, next to Oscar De La Hoya.

I do hope he’s smart with his earnings. Money does not grow on trees. Being a boxer is not forever.

Yuck. Like I’m concerned with this person, he’s not even a kin or whatsoever. Maybe I just don’t want to see another Luisito Espinosa.

--=+=--

And I liked Diaz’s answer during his part of the post-game interview. He’s not the usual yabang-Mexican-Marquez.

--=+=--

Kung Fu Panda is a nice movie. The developments of the other characters are fast-paced though. It would be nice if there was a back story for the other characters. I guess all animated movies don’t really require a back story since it is an animation (duh).

Let me see, there’s Beavis and Butthead. Wait, a back story was provided for that one. How about South Park: Bigger, Better and whatever. I really don’t remember that movie so I can’t answer for that one.

Ok, I don’t have a point here. I was just going to add He-man and She-ra the movie. But that movie was way long ago that I’ve already forgotten it and I can only remember that it was shown at channel five.

--=+=--

So, let us move on to The Incredible Hulk. Now that is a great movie. Really. I really like Edward Norton as an actor. He’s really good. Even though that Liv Tyler wasn’t really a factor in this movie at least a sucky Ang Lee is not there. Hulk (the one with Eric Bana) is really a sucky film. I slept the first time I watched that and it took a Herculean task just to watch it.

Thank God for the latest version.

Now, I just don’t know if there was a post credit part of the movie. I just saw the part where Robert Downey was talking with the general.

O EM GEE. Agenvers eherm Avengers Assemble!!!!!

--=+=--

They have to create the Infinity Gauntlet movie. So, we can include there the following people: Tobey Maguire, Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Halle Berry, Robert Downey, Jr., Edward Norton, etc.

C’mon. Please?

Even a consolation of an animated version of that story line is enough.

--=+=--

Woot. Boring entry.

Of Boston.

Congratulations to the Boston Celtics for winning their 17^th championship ring. Congratulations guys! You deserve…

What? They won the championship two weeks ago? Really?

The latest NBA draft was televised a few days ago…

What?

Is multiple personality part of your life?

What?

Who am I talking to right now?

I am Makisig Manileno, the Philippines’ bet to the annual Universal Bodybuilding competition.

What?

Is there a puzzle here that needs to be deciphered? Is this Dabintsi all of a sudden?

I’m gonna stop na…

--=+=--

I should’ve been writing something about the book Quit Bugging Me. Apparently it’s not here with me right now so I’ll talk about another book. The title is The Areas of my Expertise.

If you’re a fan of that another late night show host (No, it’s not Letterman, Leno, or O’brien. The other one), you could’ve stumbled with a this person, John K. Hodgman (He should’ve had the pseudonym J.K. Hodgman ala J.K. Rowling since he’s a comedian but there’s no sense in that so can I please continue?).

Before the Hodgman, if you’ve heard Kingdom of Loathing (it is an online game. A very funny online game.) you should at least know the book. You see, they created a new area in the game. It is called Hobopolis. Now, Hobopolis is a clan dungeon (much like Wow’s instance / raid party). Regarding Hobopolis, the enemies here are all related to hoboes (and no, when I say hobo it’s not the local meaning. They are not naked.). There are 700 hobo names (plus an additional 100 which I really don’t know why they have the additional though) and I’m not sure if these hoboes are spells, friends, lovers or whatnots.

Now, Jick (the owner of Kingdom of Loathing or KOL for short) verified that the Hobo names were from the book of Hodgman, with his permission of course. Hobo names include Telekenetic Dave, Unpronounceable, The Goose, Not the Goose, and Jonas Tugboy, Professional Mastubator (as in OMG, Hodgman used this word more than the sex life of Rustom and Carmina).

Moving on with the book, the book is purely fiction but the way he tells little tidbits of everything, you might as well believe it.

Okay, in summary, the book is an almanac of useful things that you can use everyday.

Here’re some excerpts.

Under the part for “Were you aware of it?” Sixteenth-century anatomist Gabriel Fallopius, discoverer of the fallopian tube, also coined the terms palate, placenta, cochlea, and vagina – but only after his original suggestions (fallopalate, fallopenta, falloplea, and fallopagina) were rejected?

Under “History’s Worst Men’s Haircuts” The Sink Cut (1900’s – 1930’s), North America. This quick and thrifty cut involved putting your child’s head in a sink and cutting around the edge. The sink caught the blood handily. During the Depression, when many families did not have sinks, a dirt hole would be substituted, or a natural cave.

And much much more. Even Nick Nolte was mentioned as a hobo twice (but I have yet to verify that).

Lastly, the first few pages were also written on the spine for no unknown reason. Meaning, you’re going to read the same set of paragraphs twice.

Isn’t it great?

--=+=--

I was thinking of professions that can survive an MRT aftermath. What is an MRT aftermath? It is a great phenomenon where Homo sapiens form inside a contraption while surviving the holocaust of pain or simply MRT rides during rush hours. I’ll try to compile my top ten (yes, this is one of your usual top ten. So, if you’ll just say, “Hey, we are so sick and tired of top tens. Give us something else you bi-atch.”. I don’t think it is a good idea for you, reader, to read on. Open your television, watch Kuya Germs’ sex video à awww).

Now, the top ten in no particular order or numbered but not in order:

1. Part of the train management – I believe this is one of the most obvious answers. C’mon. They can ride the train at the front (near the driver). They wouldn’t be crushed.
2. Wrestler – All the puny humans beside this profession will be crushed. So, they are safe. Just don’t inform them that you’re a performer for Pinoy Wrestling. You’ll die.
3. Armpit Sniffer – Remember a few years ago where there’s a jpeg of sniffers for a deodorant? They’ll win this one too! Why? Check the next profession.
4. Hobo – Wow! Hoboes again. Well, for one, they don’t usually take a bath. So, the armpit sniffer can survive the smell. But how about you common person you? Can you survive the great smelly strain?
5. Contortionist / Acrobats – I think this is a given. They are officially excused.
6. Touch Therapist – I hate being touched by people I don’t know. I’m not sure if they have some skin problems (Hahaha. Hypocrite!). Now, these people can survive the MRT. I’m sure. I don’t know how. But I’m sure. Though I really don’t know why this is included in the list.
7. A Millionaire – Like duh. They can buy the MRT.
8. Call Center Agent / Other night shift jobs – What MRT?
9. Professional Maniac – They should be nailed to the cross. I guess you ladies (and some men out there) hate these people. They are the professional violators and you don’t want to be near them (especially si lola).
10. Spider-man – ‘nuff said.

Of a trivia.

http://www.triviacafe.com/random.php

So, what the hell is that?

In my own words (or from what I understand), it is a random trivia site (hence triviacafe… there’s no coffee involved of course. No free coffee? No!) wherein you get to answer kick-ass questions such as the mother of rock-and-roll, who was the first person to walk on water, and what is the longest prime number (seriously). So, if you’re really good with trivia (think Jeopardy), this is a great site for you.

Ok. Playing it alone is sucky. I mean you’re great with how you answer. You’re fast. You can answer 15 questions consecutively. You can drink milk without having any intolerance.

So, it would be nice if you have your friends play along with you.

Here’s how we do this in the office.

First, login to you’re Skype account (or any IM-induced software that can provide conference chats). Create a room (or a conference or a community or a blah-blah-blah). Pick someone in your group who’s not interested with the game but is willing to give out the trivia questions (he’ll be also providing the answers since the answers are available in the site, just click Show Answer. Cha-ching!).

And then that’s it. It is a good time waster. You can play for hours and be unproductive at the same time. What a wonderful idea, right?

Oh, if you don’t provide yourselves with prizes, it is a good way to boast your trivia knowledge. We have a friend here who can answer woah trivia. I can’t give out the details though (except that his name is Franz. Hehehe).

--=+=--

Have you tried Yoshinoya?

Gyoza and salad. Salad and Gyoza.

Yum. Yum.

And their miso (misu? misou? misow? Eh?) soup.

--=+=--

I’ve been watching Ghost Fighter for the past week. Yes, I’m still watching animation. Who cares (actually my dad really cares that I’m still immature when it comes with visual entertainment. Oh yeah, like I love watching A Clockwork Orange. I’ve seen Caligula, there’s Baise Moi and 9 Songs, and whatnot)?

I still find the series enjoyable. And is Eugene really like that when they shown the series locally? The boob-grabbing skirt-lifting Eugene?

--=+=--

Back to Lobo. There was a scene there where Angel was in her full monty (or it seems) and Piolo was lifting her because she had her fight with the eclipse. I wonder what was Piolo thinking during that time?

“mas maganda ako sa yo”

Aww. Piolo-fans are gonna kill me. That includes Mama G.

Of a view.

Why can’t we elite viewers (elite? blech) rave local shows? We rave about the latest episode of House, Chuck, Dreyfuss (hehe), Amazing Race, NBA, etc but we don’t rave those local shows like Joaquin Bordado (or as I always imply when Robin gets old, Baldado), Lobo, My Girl, Eat Bulaga, and Hirayamanawari. I think it’s time for us to watch our local shows.

Don’t get me wrong. I hate our local shows but maybe it’s just me that is saying this.

We have that same old shit formula. We love to copy foreign television shows and we always get away with it.

You may call me a hypocrite but somehow I watch our local shows. Lemesee, there’s Lobo where my mom watches (and the theme show of that show should be “ako ay may lobo, lumipad sa langit) and My Girl where my friend Jinky is a part of (Sasha, ang babaeng walang balak magpahinga. Bwa Ha Ha).

Of course, we viewers want something new. I believe we want better sketch shows. Better drama.

Or is it just I.

Maybe. For the past two years (make it four or five or six even) when I stopped watching our local shows. I got tired of networks changing the theme of shows or give the word reformat. I had fun with Kaya Ni Mister, Kaya Ni Misis. Had nostalgia with Home Along Da Riles. And the corny-cally funny Palibhasa Lalaki.

As I’ve said there’s no rave with local viewer-ship anymore. Maybe that last PBBTE wherein the guardians created more noise than their little counterparts (I still object with the point that children are being peddled by their parents). But (yes, but) it is just a fad.

C’mon, you don’t want to be an outcast when it comes to chisims (tsismis po). You want to be in somehow. Of course, if you’re outgoing you have to do this though. Still, if you’re planning to join a game show soon, you might as well update your pop culture even if you cringed, thinking that you yourself watched Meteor Garden Season one and two.

And Meteor Rain.

And watched their concert.

And bought their albums.

So… baby baby baby… Hum shishini.

In conclusion to all the things I’ve said and remorse, I really don’t know what to conclude. Maybe cable and youtube killed our local shows. Maybe that’s the answer. Oh well.

--=+=--

Turn off your television. Read a book.

--=+=--

Leo Sayer rules! Hehehe. Uh yeah, you make me feel like dancing.

Of honesty.

Me don't get it.

This happened yesterday. I happen to knock down a set of siomai and obviously it fell. I didn't pick it up but went straight to the cashier and told them it's my fault.

Despite the eyes of all the people in the store. It's fine with me. It's my fault anyway.

And then the employees conversed behind my back (literally) and they we're saying that I shouldn't have told the cashier about it.

(kung makakalusot lang...)

I'm so sorry. This doesn't commune with my conscience.

--=+=--

There's this email circulating around the internet regarding a woman who had some encounter in a jeepney near ATC. I think most of us won't believe that these things are happening especially if it's in the email. I asked my mom about it, they're officemates, and told me that the story is true.

--=+=--

pagaling ka...

Of work.

16 hours straight. Shet. Shetters. Shettest.

Argh.

--=+=--

Have you seen All You've Got (you can see this in HBO). It's like a lame volleyball movie. Hahaha. La lang.

--=+=--

Catch the 8th compilation of Beerkada and the 4th compilation of Kiko Machine.

--=+=--

That's it. Too tired.